Birthdays

Birthdays…we all have them and yet for some they mean so much and for others…well they don’t even know the date. I was asked the other day how people here celebrate birthdays. It is something that I have thought about off and on but never very deeply. When a student a couple years ago told me that it was his birthday, I asked what he was doing. He replied, "Going to class." I was so sad that no one was doing anything for his birthday that I went a bought him a candy bar. He must have thought I was crazy…but thankfully never said so.

You see, birthdays are not celebrated over here, at least culturally. This seemed so strange to me mostly because of my culture. I was brought up in a home where celebrating your birth was one of the biggest days of the year. My parents always made us feel special, right from the waffle breakfast in the morning to the slumber party that night. My mom even made pie or cheesecake because I did not like ordinary cake. I can see now that it was a celebration of me, as a person, someone special and individual and I was important.

I had my own theories of why birthdays are not celebrated here. Money being the main one, and information. So I asked around and it turns out I was not far off. Extended family is very common and important in the Acholi culture, which means lots of people. Most families are peasant farmers, making very little money…subsisting on what they grow, what they can sell or trade. It would be impossible to celebrate everyone in the family’s birth every year. The second reason is that there are a lot of people who don’t know when they were born. There are no official records kept, no birth certificate, social security card, hospital records. Which got me thinking how obsessed we are about age. What age did the baby learn to walk, when was she potty trained, when did she start school, turning 10, 16, 18, 21, 30, 40, 50…100. And of course all the commercial items aimed at each age, walkers, training diapers, “back to school”, driving, insurance, voting, drinking…and then the age reversal products to make us younger and more beautiful. 

I kind of like the idea of just living life every day and not counting down every year only to wonder where the time has gone.

I am turning 50...and a bit... today and some days I forget how old I am. I actually have to do the math. This may be because of my age, or because I really don’t keep track anymore. I know I have people who love me; I have people I love. I am doing something that inspires, frustrates, breaks my heart and makes it sing. 

The one thing that I think gets missed when birthdays are just another day in a person’s life, especially that of a child, is the feeling that just for one day, you are special, you mean something and your life is worth celebrating. So for my birthday this year, I want everyone who has taken the time to read this … far… to celebrate the life of someone close to you. Not because it is their birthday, but because they are special, they mean something, and their life is worth celebrating. And for God’s sake, eat something delicious for me!