Children...Part one

She sat in the front row. When I asked for volunteers, her hand was the first hand up. The class had no idea what they were about to do; I wasn’t even their regular teacher…but they trusted me. We were going to read a short screenplay- an episode of the Twilight Zone. These were the girls with the lowest English skills, girls from the village, girls who had earned the right to be at this school because of their hard work and determination to climb out of the cycle of poverty that grips their country and so many others.

I gave her a part. I gave them all parts. Big, small, they didn’t care. Because I had seen her at assemblies and around campus, I knew she had spirit. She did not disappoint. Starting hesitantly, they all did- unsure of what was expected, of speaking out loud, of making a mistake- but as the story began to unfold with their words, their voices, I could feel the shift. They took ownership. They became the characters they were playing. No one more than her. Her voice grew bolder, took on characteristics of the defensive man she was playing, facial movements and all. She was Les in that moment, but her name was Tabitha and she died this week.

She died because she lives in a country where healthcare is so hard to come by, it is the last thing people seek out when sick. She died because the doctors are few and the trained ones even fewer. She died because she probably never complained about her shortness of breath, or pain in her chest, or numbness. She died because there is no medical care at school and she would have been told to take a pain killer or a nap. She died because when she did finally go to a doctor, she was diagnosed with a respiratory problem, not the heart problem she actually had. Sixteen-year-old Tabitha, cheering, happy, full-of -life Tabitha died of a completely curable illness simply because of where she was born.

This is the second girl to die this year at school. The first was two months ago. She had symptoms, was given Panadol (Tylenol), sleeping pills and told to rest. Two days later she collapsed and became incoherent at school. No one helped her until another American working at the school found her in her dorm and went to the administration and demanded something be done. They took her to a psychiatric hospital for stress breakdown. One month later she died of an undiagnosed brain tumor, thinking she was crazy. Even if there was a neurologist in the country who could have read the symptoms, there is no MRI machine to confirm and no surgeon to operate. So she died.

I have never been so close to the death of children before, not my own, not my students. I have seen the ravages of malnutrition, hunger, poverty. I have seen children who were abused, abandoned, unloved. I have seen them living on the street and selling themselves for a good grade or airtime or food. I have been in and out of hospitals and clinics where doctors diagnose without ever touching a patient. Where patients have so little knowledge about their own bodies they can’t even accurately describe their symptoms. I have been with girls who thought they were pregnant because they got their period, or miss class because they lack the money to buy pads. I have students who were not given malaria meds because their schools can’t afford to stock them and no nets are provided. I have a student who went a month with a serious UTI that went untreated until the school finally called us and said she was too sick to stay in school...come get her.

Two children, just two of the thousands who die every day. Children who die because adults have failed them.

March 2024

The post above was written two months before my own daughter died from suicide. While I talk of girls from developing countries, my own daughter was so distraught for her friends of color, LGBTQ, AND HERSELF after a misogynistic, racist, buffoon was elected President,  in what was supposed to be the shinning example of democracy to the rest of the world, that she chose to take perscription drugs (not hers) meant to help with anxiety and depression and drink for several days. My daughter died because the adults in her life did not protect her. She died because her friends did not act. She died because she took other people's prescription drugs as a way to deal with her stress. Drugs that are prescribed to teenagers for depression, and come with a warning that they can cause suicidal thoughts in young people. She was a bright light in a very dark world. She is described by her roommates as the caretaker and mom- she is the one who made them breakfast and took on their problems. She was the peacemaker in our family, often bridging the divide between siblings and keeping in contact with her grandparents.  She listened, absorbed and finally her empathy became too much. Almost eight years later the mental health of our young people, especially girls, is becoming mainstream. People are more aware but the triggers of self-esteem, sexual abuse, peer pressure, and fear of an uncertain future still remain.  

Children die because adults fail them.

For Poetry Month May I Present the Yuwa Girls

Morning

The wind was blowing
and children were crying.
the wether so foggy
and people could not see
anything.

The birds were chirping
and hens were
moving here and there.
People were talking like they are very talkative
and the DJ was so loud
people starting in their
morning walks.

Night and Morning by Monika Kumari

Night

At night the
      wind is blowing into my cheeks,
          I was feeling cold.
     The cat was making
a ghost sound.
The sound of motorbike, train and
     other projections were echoing in
     my ears.
The bat was making sounds like he had lost his
mother and the wind
      was so cool
          at night.

Morning and Night by Sheetal Toppo

Morning

It is steel dark in the morning.
Little bugs are buzzing through my ear.
    People are getting ready to do their chores. Women are cooking vegetables.
The sound of roasting vegetables.

It's all silent only the blowing of the winds through my nerves, brain, and heart.
It's touching my soul.

It's peace up here in the morning It's all the sound of dangling plants and trees.
And the buzzing of little insects.

                            It's all dark up here!
                            It's silent surrounding
                            And the morning is the
                            Kingdom of insects.


Night

It is all dark up here, as if a
tunnel is passing in front of me.
There are insects buzzing across
me and moving the herd in the tunnel,
as if the train is passing.

It is all dark up here
No light, no brightness,
No nothing except the darkness
and the twinkling of the stars and
the moon.

Soon the people will go to bed.
Women are cooking dinner
with some chit chat about the cooking.

It's all dark up here
It's all about the kingdom of darkness
with no interference of anyone.
Only two stars and the moon
            It's all dark up here
            It's all dark up here.

Rising

Every morning before the sun
    at work before others wake
    mosquitos sizzle in the still moist air
    roosters
    dawnlight slips over the mist-covered fields
    All is dull grey.

        Rising

Bus
   books
      notes
          blue pens
             chalk.
  Mats on the floor, woven in the colors of their lives.
     curiosity
        wondering
            experimenting with a language that is not their own
 Speaking, reading, writing
                       new worlds open

      Rising

Forbidden
   alien
     no role models.
The first
    the leaders
        What do the younger ones think?

      Rising

The world is waiting
  so much to do
  so much to offer
  so far to go
  stuck in place

    Rising

Loneliness

Too young to understand
     but not too young to feel
       left alone in the dark.
           short hair
           small face, her eyes don't match
  a girl in a boys-only world.

Old enough to balance
   the pot on her beautiful round head
         fetch water
         sweep
         cook
         wash the clothes in a pool of dirty rainwater
all the others go to school

Married to a man
   who doesn't see her
                       hear her
                       love her
                       want her
   water, cook, sweep, wash, repeat
surrounded by women living in their loneliness

Old, weary, bent
    wisdom fading
      no one comes anymore
  where are they?
     dying
       alone
         hungry
           tired
             spirit lost
alone.

Beautiful but sad....India a land of contradictions

The Monkey Temple or Galtaji is a perfect symbol of the beauty that was India and the confusing contradiction that it has become.

Before coming to India to live last year I read extensively, watched documentaries and studied Hinduism for my masters. I thought there would be an inherent spiritualism here. I have found, however, that the idea of India is not the reality, and I am faced once again with the effects of colonial ruins and poverty.

Rather than spirituality, I have encountered practice and ritual with no connection to faith or belief. Women who are required to constantly fast and pray for men and boys while they themselves remain invisible. The most confusing is the inability of Hindus to explain their practice beyond knowing the names of some gods and a limited knowledge of festivals. In Hutup, they worship Hinduism as nature and yet pollute the air burning plastic, and throw garbage everywhere.

I thought that maybe it was because I am living in a very rural area among a large population of illiterate people.

But now having traveled to some of the main tourist sites the contradictions have widened. People who worship in the morning are trying to rip us off in the afternoon. Kindness is overdone and artificial, hospitality is not part of the culture and rules never apply to men.

Back to the monkey temple. It was clearly a beautiful, colorful small city set in the canyon, once upon a time. Two "priests", young men I doubt have any real training sit at the entrance collecting money for us the take photos. What was once amazing is now crumbling and lacks care. Pilgrims come, we saw many, but it seems they leave behind garbage that no one bothers to pick up. The pool, filled by a natural spring, is covered with floating filth. The beautiful frescos are faded, cracked, and dirty. The images of gods lay within piles of garbage. Could the priests spend less time harassing tourist over 5 cents to use the toilet and more time picking up rubbish? Could art students not come to repaint and repair the artwork. This is a holy temple, falling into ruin. Spiritual...nope....beautiful...in a very very sad way, yes.

Post Script: The temple is not nicknamed for the god Hanuman, but for the over 300 monkeys that live in the rocks of the surrounding hills.

Our Children Have No Value

Our Children Have No Value

If they did we would not traffic them

If they did we would not leave guns in places they could reach

If they did we would spend more on education than war

If they did we would practice safe sex

If they did we would make sure they have free health care from birth to 18

If they did we would make sure they are fed only healthy food

If they did we would not medicate them because they don’t behave the way we want them to

If they did we would not use them for slave labor

If they did we would put books in their hands instead of phones

If they did parks would be full
If they did we would not make them play year round multi sports

If they did we would not have the highest infant mortality rate in the developed world

If they did we would care for the planet that will be their home

If they did we would not leave them in hot cars

If they did we would see every child as our child, a small human being to be loved, protected, cherished and guided.

Equity not Equality

May 11, 2017

Today's words of concern are selfish, selfless, insecurity, jealousy, entitlement, empowerment, equality.

Equality implies that we are all alike- to be equal we cannot be unique- when in fact, that is exactly what we are. Each of us is absolutely unique, on this planet to fulfill something no one else can. Sure, we have things in common- we are women, or men, or married, or single, educated or not, parents or not. We might have the same job, or live in the same town or come from the same country, but those commonalities do not make us equal. Each of our individual characteristics and life experiences play a part in the choices we make and eventually the people we become.

Let me try to illustrate: Two women with the same education (let’s just say coincidentally they went to the same university and obtained the same degree) were hired on the exact same day for the exact same job and starting pay- maybe, bank teller. Are they equal? Let’s layer it a bit more. One comes to work exactly on time every day and the other is always 10 min late. Are they equal? One dresses professionally, has a smile on her face when greeting customers and treats each one with courtesy. The other dresses in casual clothes better suited for the weekend and is rude. Are they equal? One looks for opportunities to learn, asks for additional work, initiates projects while the other comes to work, does her work and goes home. Are they equal?

Let’s look at it like this- Professional woman 1- comes to work on time, dresses professionally, is rude to customers and leaves the second her eight hours is up. Professional woman 2- Is 10 min. late, dresses casually, smiles and is courteous to customers, takes on tasks outside her exact job description and takes initiative.

Are they equal?

Should one be paid more than the other? Should one expect more than the other? Let me throw another curve ball into the mix.

Professional 1- leaves exactly on time every day because she cares for her father with dementia and her homecare worker leaves a ½ hour before she gets off work. So, for the last half hour of every day she is worried her father might have come to harm. Worried, distracted, maybe even rude. She dresses nicely because by living with her father she has extra money.

Professional 2- Is late every day because her daughter’s daycare doesn’t open until the exact time she has to be at work and it is 10 min. away. She doesn’t have enough money to buy lots of clothes because daycare eats most of her pay.

Again, let’s just say that they don’t know these things about each other, but their supervisor knows. Not only does this supervisor know, but bases pay increase on their individual circumstances, work, etc. Are they equal, put another way, is this fair?

Fair- so tired of hearing this word. It is for a two-year-old who has not developed the capacity to reason. I take a half hour lunch and she takes 40 min- it’s not fair. She has a messy desk and mine is clean, it’s not fair. Someone said something mean to her, it’s not fair. I am doing more work- it’s not fair. I won’t even get into the “it’s not fairs” coming down from the government right now.

What have we taught our children? That they can be and do anything...with no effort? Life really isn’t fair. Some people don’t get an education simply because of where they were born. Belief systems are persecuted simply because of where they are practiced. Women are without healthcare because men decide who gets it. None of this is fair.  So, what do we do with the unfairness?

Instead of creating little beings who never get dirty, or sick, or struggle because we protect them from unfairness, pain, and challenges, maybe we could teach them about the world. Introduce them to injustice, poverty, discrimination, fear. Guide them through it. Not because we are better or have the answer or can fix it, but rather so that they can develop compassion and empathy and a sense of wonder. Differences are what make the world both beautiful and unfair. We should not strive for equality, but for equity, understanding, and empathy.

Confusion of Thoughts, Selfishness and Generosity

May 1, 2017 

Something has been brewing and took shape today. Some of it I have written about before some coming from recent events, here, abroad. The opposite of generosity is selfishness. While that is fairly obvious, these are the words for today.

I saw a kind of generosity in Uganda that I had never seen before. Not here, or anywhere else I have traveled. It is born from being thankful, truly thankful for what one has. The saying “there but for the grace of God” is realized in a place that has known suffering- true poverty, war, injustice, and a kind of violence we see glimpses of. Each person there knows that today things are good for them, but tomorrow I could be in want. The, like us, can choose selfishness- and don’t think it doesn’t happen. I heard more times than I would have liked the phrase “I rose above it on my own, why can’t they”. I heard these same words from my father, my whole life. I was brought up to believe that you get from life only what you earn- or can bargain out of someone. I did not learn about service or helping those in need. Those ideas are in some way at war with the American dream.

I also found this to be true in my church. The words were there and some action, but no empathy. It was all “we are right and everyone else is wrong” …to tolerance, no connection. Service in the Church was more like something that must be done- not something that hurts not to do.

I grew up selfish. I wanted money because that is what my culture taught me was important. I looked at the homeless and said: “get a job, I have one." I judged others, not even thinking or caring about their story.

I changed. When I went to Uganda five years ago, it was mostly for me. I was curious, it was an adventure, it was brave. When I came back, “I” didn’t exist anymore. My life became about the children- children who had lost parents, siblings- been abducted and forced to do unspeakable things- children who with every fiber of their being just wanted to go to school. I was recently in a conference when Lisa Ling said: “Once you have seen it, you can’t do nothing.” I couldn’t do nothing.

Jump ahead to the story of a woman who embodies generosity. I have written about Anna before, my shero. She contracted Polio shortly after birth- because she was no lucky enough to have access to the vaccine…she grew up sitting in a corn of a hut, not allowed to go to school, no access to wheelchairs or medicine…a burden to her family. At 14 her father found a way for her to contribute- he sold her to men. They came, took her away and brought her back…used, abused and three times pregnant. She lost all the babies. The fourth pregnancy was successful and Anna gave birth to a son, her father died and she was free- well as free as a woman with no education, no money and a child could be. Did I mention the war? One day the rebel army found Anna in the hut. They sliced her across the head with a machete and left her to die while stealing everything she had.

She didn’t die- this amazing woman- shortly after, she and her son were moved to a displacement camp, that’s what they called it. Really it was a containment camp. The government made them leave the land and move to a camp of huts with no way to grow food or make a living or go to school. They lived there for seven years. The war ended and by a twist of fate, Anna survived all eleven of her siblings and because she had a son, her father's portion of land now belonged to her- well him. She took her son home, built a hut, farmed the land on her hands and knees with a hoe- and put her son in school. Every shilling she made selling her crops she spent on her son’s education. She met a woman- a nun who ran a school in town. This woman offered to let the boy study for free. Anna sent him away at the age of 12 to learn. The next day her uncles burned down the hut she lived in. You see there is a law in Uganda that says as long as a disabled person is working the land, it cannot be taken from them. Her uncles wanted the land…and torment her still today. She moved to the hut her son had built and she lives there still today. She works her land on her hands and knees, alone, with a hoe. 2-3 acres. She crawls the 1.5 km to a little outpost to find a boy to fetch water for her- the closest being 1.5 km in the opposite direction.

I met her son when he was in Primary 6. A big boy, humble, quiet and hardworking. I didn’t know his story- or the story of his mother until a few years later. I met her in town- she had come to get her wheelchair fixed. She was staying outside the Catholic Church- on a mat. She had gotten a ride to town in the back of a truck, - they left her at the Church. She crawled the ½ mile to the Disabled Center where she was told they couldn’t help her. You see she already had a wheelchair. So, she crawled back to the church. We had been told, I don’t know by who, that one of our boy’s moms was in town. I sent our mentor to go meet with her. A short time later he came to the office and said Laura you need to come with me, you need to meet Anna.

And because it is ingrained in us to see only the outside of a person- when I first saw Anna sitting on the ground with her shrunken twisted legs tucked under her was “Holy crap she’s buff and look at that smile!”

Sacrifice, sorrow, poverty, pain and generosity- selflessness- toward a son- is beyond inspiring.

There are many, many more stories of hospitality and generosity from people with nothing to give, nothing in their hut but a mat, a pot and a bag of beans.

Selfishness- cutting aid to people we have never met, cutting health care to women who will die- along with their children. Saying “why doesn’t their own government take care of them” turning away refugees- like Anna displaced from their homes by selfish men fighting a selfish war.

Generosity- “What you do to the least of my brothers you do to me” Giving what you can afford to give. Believing that the success of each one of us is dependent on the success of all of us.

Education is....part 2

I like quotes. I have always found them more fascinating than just reading history. Real people saying real things that hold so much meaning in very few words. They make me think. They make me want to learn more: about the person, the situation, why they are timeless. The words above are by our students. The words below...well read for yourself.

So I have started this second blog about education with some quotes by old guys, dead guys, American, British, Indian, Greek, black and white guys. I saved the women for last, don’t worry. Please take a moment to read and ingest their words, then my words, then more words by others.

 “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” Carl Rogers was a humanistic psychologist believed that for a person to "grow", they need an environment that provides them with genuineness (openness and self-disclosure), acceptance (being seen with unconditional positive regard), and empathy (being listened to and understood).

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it”. Aristotle- Greek philosopher

“The great aim of education is not knowledge but action.” Herbert Spencer- British philosopher and sociologist

“The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.” Sydney J. Harris -American journalist

“The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.” Martin Luther King, Jr.-activist, pastor, Nobel Peace Prize winner.

“Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.” Malcolm Forbes- American entrepreneur

“The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge and the dissemination of truth.” John F. Kennedy- politician

“The foundation of every state is the education of its youth”. Diogenes- Greek philosopher and cynic

The highest education is that which does not merely give us information but makes our life in harmony with all existence. Rabindranath Tagore- polymath (look it up…I did), poet Nobel Peace Prize winner

“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.”  Robert Frost-poet 

“The mere imparting of information is not education.” Carter G. Woodson- African-American author, journalist and historian

“The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives.” Robert M. Hutchins- American educational philosopher

“Education is simply the soul of a society as it passes from one generation to another.” Gilbert K. Chesterton- English writer, poet, philosopher, dramatist, journalist, orator, lay theologian, biographer, and literary and art critic…hmmm pretty sure that’s not covered by a test.

Right education should help the student, not only to develop his capacities, but to understand his own highest interest. J. Krishnamurti- philosopher, speaker, writer

My turn: As with all my writing, I started in one direction and wound up here instead. I was going to talk about schools that are harming students and schools that are doing some amazingly innovative things…next time.

Education is about inspiring young people to take chances, be innovative, inclusive, supportive and collaborative and become compassionate human beings. Education is about allowing people to identify and develop their skills and talents in a safe, loving environment. It is not about memorizing facts and figures. It is not about performing on tests created to judge what you don’t know, not what you do know. It does not happen with standardized curriculum, in large classes, or small classroom or with punishments and shame.

It happens with high expectations, flexibility, structure, and consequences. The sharing of information and the tools of discovery. At the end of the day is it more important for a student to recite the names of presidents, or states and capitals or multiplication tables? Or is it more important to observe and discuss the actions of those leaders, the tactics, and strategies that led to the development of state systems and how numbers exist and play a role in the existence of life itself? Tools to find answers, creativity to form their own questions, thinking outside the classroom or the exam.

Standard curriculum should include community service, social justice, human rights, practicing art, music, dance, and drama from around the world, second language fluency, book clubs, science exploration, technology applications for global solutions, land use and conservation, mechanics, and business practices. These would give our young people all the basics we have relied on and believe to be important: math, language, history, science, tech, but through creative, problem solving, question based, thought-provoking, hands-on collaborations that have the capacity to open their minds, focus their actions toward others, and create solutions to real-world problems, while appreciating the beauty of the world around them – outside their door, outside the classroom, outside their state, outside their country.

A few quotes from some amazing women. Please if inspired by any of these words, look up the speaker. Read more about them. Open your mind to their ideas…some are quite old and some are new and courageous and bold.

“My mother said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy. That some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors.” Maya Angelou amazing human being, Nobel Peace Prize winner.

“…education deserves emphatically to be termed cultivation of mind which teaches young people how to begin to think.” Mary Wollstonecraft, 18^th century author, feminist

“The highest result of education is tolerance.” -Helen Keller, American deaf & blind lecturer, winner Presidential Medal of Freedom.

“Computers can do all the left hemisphere processing better and faster than the human brain. So what's left for the human brain is global thinking, creative thinking, intuitive-problem solving, seeing the whole picture. All of that cannot be done by the computer. And yet the school system goes on, churning out reading, writing, and arithmetic, spelling, grammar.” -Betty Edwards, American author, researcher, artist

“A quality education has the power to transform societies in a single generation, provide children with the protection they need from the hazards of poverty, labor exploitation and disease, and given them the knowledge, skills, and confidence to reach their full potential.” -Audrey Hepburn, humanitarian, actress

"The principal goal of education in the schools should be creating men and women who are capable of doing new things, not simply repeating what other generations have done; men and women who are creative, inventive and discoverers, who can be critical and verify, and not accept, everything they are offered." - Jean Piaget, Swiss philosopher and scientist

Oops the last one is a man…and wow he thinks just like me- found the quote after I wrote the blog…let’s all embrace this idea and create a new way to educate. Let’s Educate to Change.

Too Much

Too much fear, too much food, too much hate, too much violence, too much water running down concrete sidewalks.

Too many cars, too many opinions, too many words, too little said.

To little connection, too little kindness, too little empathy, too little curiosity, wonder, awe.

Reverse culture sock has been a problem in the past. Being overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of stuff available to us- the ease in which people buy and spend and waste. For the first time in years, I am not heading back right away: I can’t focus on the simpler life I have in Gulu- walking, talking, connecting. I am alarmed and saddened by friends and family who support a venom spewing old man, who has never worked for anything a day in is live, who hates women, and degrades and ridicules everything I old to be sacred- love, service, compassion, kindness.

I believe in people still. I have seen those with nothing give everything and those with everything give nothing. I started on Facebook as a way to share my travels with family and friends…to stay in touch. I now have friends from around the world. But it is not a place of kindness or intellectual exchange, and the negativity is too much. I will stop using Facebook for the time being. I will be on messenger, WhatsApp and for my local friends my phone number is 541-613-6216….at least for now. Let’s have lunch, or go for a walk, or just sit in the park. Turn off the TV, put down the computer and go talk to your neighbor…don’t judge them, don’t judge anyone…who are we to judge? Live by example in kindness. 

The Sun and Moon

If you cry because you miss the sun, your tears will not let you see the moon ….African Proverb

It has been a while since I jumped into the unknown. It was sad to leave my home in Gulu this week; my friends, the familiar shops, restaurants, streets, and most of all my pigs. But if I let my tears prevent me from seeing the adventure before me I will miss it. I took an unfamiliar walk to an unfamiliar town, with unfamiliar shops, restaurants, and languages…I spoke three! I passed the refugee camp set up for the families fleeing conflict in Burundi…the children, maybe 30 or 40 came running over to the improvised barrier (a piece of string tied to trees), they wanted to shake my hand, to greet me, to touch my skin, to smile and say “bonjour”. The young man with them told me they like whites and they would be starting to learn English on Monday. Together we taught them to say “I’m fine” in response to my greeting and “goodbye” when I left. It is the first time since I first walked on to Mother Teresa Primary School three and a half years ago that I felt that kind of joy that comes from knowing you are in the right place, right now.

In the shop I found another young man who had enough English that I was able to do my little shopping. He sent me next door for milk where the three ladies had only Kinyarwanda, so we used sign language and smiled a lot. There was no milk, but I did buy some water.

Rwanda is so different from Uganda and Gulu, there are no outside venders, no goods displayed outside the shops, no people just lazing around or playing cards. It is quiet, peaceful, orderly and clean. The only thing that disturbs the calm are the big dump trucks the Chinese brought to steal the top soil and move it to the lake’s edge where they are growing rice, I hope the hippos eat it all. This adventure, creating and teaching in Rwanda will allow me to keep all that we have built in Gulu running. I will be paid for the first time in two years, my housing and food provided, so the students in our program can go to school one more year…and maybe we will have enough to send them all to programming camp next year.

There is a lot to learn in my new country and Gulu will always be my sun; but for now I am seeing the moon... and the stars.

Independence, Liberty, Freedom

Today is Independence Day in Uganda. Fifty-three years ago the British government gave up its colonial hold on this “Pearl of Africa”. This got me thinking about what independence means, how it relates to freedom and liberty. So being curious I looked it up!

Independence: the time when a country or region gains political freedom from outside control

Freedom:   enjoying civil and political liberty, not subject to the control or domination of another;  made, done, or given voluntarily or spontaneously, not bound, confined, or detained by force.

Liberty:  the quality or state of being free:  the power to do as one pleases;  freedom from physical restraint;  freedom from arbitrary or despotic control;  the positive enjoyment of various social, political, or economic rights and privileges;  the power of choice

So while independence is a good thing to celebrate, political freedom from outside control; more important is liberty. Because being independent does not guarantee liberty. Social, political, and economic rights being absent, does it matter if a country is independent if its people are without liberty? The ability to travel outside its borders, the ability to receive an education and healthcare, the ability to use their voice without fear of arrest, the ability to disagree and demand change, are all necessary  for the people who make up the very fabric of a country to enjoy independence. One step at a time.  Enjoy the thoughts of others on the subject of Liberty! (remember all quotes should always be read in their full context).

“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
― Benjamin Franklin, Memoirs of the life & writings of Benjamin Franklin

“People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”
― Søren Kierkegaard

“Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves” --  Abraham Lincoln

“What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or in the holy name of liberty or democracy?”
― Mahatma Gandhi

 “If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
― George Orwell

“For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”
― Nelson Mandela

 “Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”
― Henry David Thoreau

“I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.”
― Thomas Jefferson

“Freedom is not something that anybody can be given. Freedom is something people take, and people are as free as they want to be”
― James Baldwin

“I am an American; free born and free bred, where I acknowledge no man as my superior, except for his own worth, or as my inferior, except for his own demerit.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

“People have only as much liberty as they have the intelligence to want and the courage to take.”
― Emma Goldman

“The end may justify the means as long as there is something that justifies the end.”
― Leon Trotsky, Their Morals and Ours

“Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.”
― Napoléon Bonaparte

“A primary object should be the education of our youth in the science of government. In a republic, what species of knowledge can be equally important? And what duty more pressing than communicating it to those who are to be the future guardians of the liberties of the country?”
― George Washington

“Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigues of supporting it.”
― Thomas Paine

 “Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!”
― Patrick Henry

“I know no safe depository of the ultimate powers of the society but the people themselves ; and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them, but to inform their discretion by education. This is the true corrective of abuses of constitutional power.”
― Thomas Jefferson, Letters of Thomas Jefferson

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.”
― Audre Lorde

“Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.”
― George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman

“If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
[Inaugural Address, January 20 1961]”
― John F. Kennedy

“The advancement and diffusion of knowledge is the only guardian of true liberty.”
― James Madison

“A true revolution of values will soon cause us to question the fairness and justice of many of our past and present policies. ... A true revolution of values will soon look uneasily on the glaring contrast of poverty and wealth. With righteous indignation, it will look across the seas and see individual capitalists of the West investing huge sums of money in Asia, Africa, and South America, only to take the profits out with no concern for the social betterment of the countries, and say, "This is not just." It will look at our alliance with the landed gentry of South America and say, "This is not just." The Western arrogance of feeling that it has everything to teach others and nothing to learn from them is not just.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

“A Constitution of Government once changed from Freedom, can never be restored. Liberty, once lost, is lost forever.”
― John Adams, Letters of John Adams, Addressed to His Wife

“A right delayed is a right denied.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

“Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty.”
― Thomas Jefferson

Rumpole and Yoda: When there really is no “law”...and a rant.

Warning references to old British  and American TV and movies, are coming; in addition to frustrating and sad moments.

Go get a cup of coffee or maybe a glass of wine…this is a long one, but please try to read it all…

I had the opportunity to sit in high court yesterday.  While the courtroom itself is very basic, long tables, long benches, lots of microphones that don’t work and the crest of Uganda on the wall above the high court judge, who by the way was wearing some kind of Japanese Kimono robe?? Maybe he just likes red and wanted to add some color to what would be one of the longest days I have had in many, many years.

So judge dressed like Asian Yoda, attorneys dressed like they watched too many Rumpole of the Bailey episodes, sans wigs, and the prisoners dressed, well, like everyone else in the room. Oh I should mention that every case, except the one I am there to see is a defilement case (for the Americans, read rape…of a child).

First case is called, and it is to determine if the statement the accused (and yes they pronounced it achused…all frigging day!) had been signed under duress. Here is where it gets a bit frustrating. This is how justice works here. Someone, anyone, can have you arrested on their word only. You can be held for two days without being charged with any crime. During the two days you are locked in a cell maybe 6x10 with up to 15 other accused people. No toilet, no bedding. Twice a day you are “paraded” in the yard where you are questioned, and questioned, and beaten to try to “get the truth”. Ok so maybe that is some of the sad part. Finally, this accused, was taken to a room with only one officer (he was not allowed to have a witness…that is actually the law) where he apparently made his confession and was cautioned (given his rights to remain silent…there is no right to have an attorney, a witness, a friend, someone, anyone).

So State Attorney calls Detective (fat old man dressed like mobster in Florida). Takes him through the sequence of events that led to the taking of the statement…in painstaking slowness… even having him read the statement and show us all where everyone had signed. Then detective is cross examined by the defense attorney who asks exactly the same questions…not exaggerating here, which again includes him identifying the document and signatures. We are now one hour into this…the best is yet to come. It goes back to the State Attorney who, and I am not making this up, asks exactly the same questions again- starting with his name, rank, how long on the job…and yes having him once more read and identify the signatures on the statement. Hour two is gone…there are 8 more guys waiting to have their cases heard.

Then the accused is taken through the whole question, cross process except he is only asked to identify his signature. Oh and did I mention that court is in English, the accused is Acholi (who spoke and understood English) but had to wait to have all questions translated to Luo and then all his answers (even when he answered in English, his lawyer told him to answer in Luo) had to be translated to the court. As hour three is moving on, the judge finally rules that the statement is admissible and then offers the accused the opportunity to give his defense---literally his side of the court case! Hour three gone. Finally about halfway through that painfully slow question, translate, answer, translate, pause for everyone to write it all down long hand….the judge decides to hear the rest another day and the accused is excused.

My butt now is sore. Ok case number two….don’t remember, my brain stopped working because I am hungry and so appalled by the lack of preparation by the attorneys...who all appear to have been hung over and who clearly had not looked at the files until that minute in court.

Hour four…gone Lunchtime. Sad part coming….

Back in court the first case called is aggravated defilement. So defilement is sex with anyone under the age of 18, and aggravated defilement is sex with a child under the age of 10 while infected with HIV. The judge starts to read…the entire trial transcript…which would have been laughable except that he began with “there are four things that have to be proven for aggravated defilement” 1. Child was under 10 2. The assault happened. 3. The accused is HIV positive and 4. That it was the accused who did the assaulting. “the child was eight, the defilement took place, the accused is HIV positive, so it is the last requirement that must be determined.” The penalty for this crime is death. Yes, an eight year old girl was raped by a 30 something year old man who was not only HIV positive, but knew that he was HIV positive…this happened in 2012.

One hour later after we had been treated to a really bad episode of Criminal Minds read out in court, and while the accused stands, blank faced, it is recommended by the “advisors” that the judge find the accused guilty of the aggravated defilement.n I am not sure what their qualifications are, but all along I thought they were the court reporters (there are only two and they kept switching out with another two),  Judge then sets another date for the accused to receive his judgement—so not really sure what the purpose of that whole production was?? I should mention that while the judge was reading about the achused he also kept talking about the “prostitution” and I spent a great deal of horrified time trying to figure out what prostitutes had to do with the case…Prosecution, prosecution, light bulb now on. Ugandlish.

Next case, also aggravated defilement, but for some reason we were not treated to the extended details of the crime, just the “advisors” recommendation, guilty of simple defilement- not sure how any defilement can be simple, but one of the four criteria must not have been proven. Again another court date set for the judge to make a ruling.

The next two cases went quickly, withdrawn by the State Attorney after five years---five years!

Oh and the reason I was at court, a friend of mine was put in prison for seven days because his phone went off in court the week before. After seven days,  he stayed in prison for an additional three days because the judge was took a long weekend so there was no court...imagine being sent to Vacaville or San Quentin because your phone goes off in court! (and he had turned it off, but it accidentally turned on while in his pocket). Did I mention he is a husband, dad and really amazing human being? Yeah...that does not matter to those with the power.

A few years ago I read a book by Gary Haugen, founder of International Justice Mission called The Locust Effect:Why the End of Poverty Requires the End of Violence. It was sad, shocking, depressing, and dealt with the reality of injustice faced by the poor in developing countries. Uganda is a developing country and  I have had glimpses of the corruption and inequality of justice for the poor…I can read about it, and even see small episodes of it, but I have now been baptized in it and quite frankly am not sure what to do with my new knowledge---hence your opportunity to read this blog because sometimes I just need to get it from my head to the page in order to process.

The men in court yesterday were there because they could either afford an attorney, or they had friends or family who could afford an attorney, or the victim could afford to press the case forward. For the rest of the accused…and remember a case can be brought against you on nothing more than one person’s word…you can sit in prison (not county lock up people, with toilets, TV and two to a cell) but prison, for years…forgotten by a system that operates on bribes.

Two stories: 1. Survival Like in healthcare and education here in Uganda, in prison, only the basics are provided- building, guards, blanket (if you are lucky, sometimes takes two months to get, sometimes taken by the mean prisoners). Feeding is once a day and consists of the water the beans were cooked in, followed by beans 100 give or take, and then posho measured in three inch square (think solid cream of wheat cut like jello). It is the responsibility of your family and friends to supply real food etc.  Those without visitors rely on those with visitors for their survival. They cook for you, you share some of your food…that is survival.

2. The Step Mother I have written in the past about how all the evil step-mother stories must have originated in Uganda…here is another one to add to the list…a fourteen year old boy is set to inherit his father’s cattle. The step-mother is not happy about losing the wealth (cattle are like a really good mutual fund) to this boy and decides to accuse him of defiling her daughter. Accused, arrested, charged, thrown in prison…forgotten. Now sixteen, he has not been visited by anyone- unfortunately too many Ugandan men are afraid to be men and do the right thing, instead, they hide behind their horrible, evil wives. So he seeks out ways to survive. He has not been to court and probably never will. He should not even be in the adult prison, but in the remand home for juveniles. He will sit in prison because he has no money, he is just a child and his story is sadly not unique.

If you made it this far, thank you. A bit of a rant coming up here…. I told you there would be sad parts and I am really trying to understand, as I have for the past year, how people can be so cruel to each other. How we cannot see past our own comfort to believe the things that are really happening to people outside our immediate circle. How we can be so desensitized. Humans of New York is doing a series right now on the refugees arriving in Greece…read the stories please, read Gary Haugen’s book please. Take this seriously please. Please please please educate yourself, it is sad and depressing and will rip your heart out, but isn’t that better than being numb to the world? Isn’t that better than not feeling anything? Be thankful that your ancestor’s boat landed in America instead of say, Hungry (not that a boat can land there but you get my meaning). I am blessed with so many opportunities because my Great grandfather made the decision to save his family by traveling across the globe to look for a better life and his boat landed in New York. He was processed without question (name, age, country of origin, boat, number in the family, I have seen the records) - he was not asked what God he prayed to or what his political affiliations were, or even if he could speak English (he couldn’t). Was everyone happy that the “immigrants” had arrived? NO. But they were welcomed and allowed to come and provision was made and the world did not end.

                     New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

---Emma Lazarus (1900)

Apathy and Empathy

Apathy is by definition a “Lack of interest, concern, or emotion; indifference.” It is what is happening to our world…to us as individuals. We are numbed by the bombardment of media images of pain, suffering, violence and death making it difficult to process the horrors taking place in the world…so we shut down, click to the next screen, and scroll past the unpleasant posts. I have seen comments from people that include: “if you are living a good life, why not leave well enough alone” REALLY? Is it just about us and our comfort? I sometimes think that compassion lessons with the increase in technology.

On the other hand, empathy is “the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person's feelings.” It is the connection of one human being to another for no other reason than because we share a humanity. 

Is it possible for us to reverse the trend? Is it possible for us to genuinely feel the pain of a mother or father who has lost a child to hunger, murder, or illness? Or to imagine what it must be like to live in fear of your government, have bombs drop on your village, or live in a refugee camp for years on end?

We, (and I use that term in the most Western sense) rather than sit complacently in our comfortable lives, should rather feel a need to create a world in which all children can go to school, eat at least two meals a day, and where parents have the ability to work, provide basics like clothing and shoes. Or where girls are not raped on the subway or on the way to the latrine, where public servant actually means serving the public, and where we care enough about our environment that we treat for what it is…the thing that gives us all life.

I am not speaking as one “holier than thou” because I am as guilty of falling into the apathy trap as anyone. But it is time to stop pretending that we have not created a greed filled culture in which money talks and honesty, truth, compassion, and love have lost their meaning. I am calling out the “religious” who quote the Bible while shaming their neighbor, and vilify anyone who does not accept their “teaching” as correct. I am calling out the presidents, prime ministers, legislators and judiciary who “serve” the people while imposing laws that suppress freedom of speech, assembly, liberty, and belief. I am calling out the teachers who sit back while their classrooms are turned into factories for sedated students and places where creativity and individuality is banned. And I am calling out each of us to really look at those around us, to feel for one minute the pain or loss or desperation that they are feeling and to find a way, human to human, to empathize.

Birthdays

Birthdays…we all have them and yet for some they mean so much and for others…well they don’t even know the date. I was asked the other day how people here celebrate birthdays. It is something that I have thought about off and on but never very deeply. When a student a couple years ago told me that it was his birthday, I asked what he was doing. He replied, "Going to class." I was so sad that no one was doing anything for his birthday that I went a bought him a candy bar. He must have thought I was crazy…but thankfully never said so.

You see, birthdays are not celebrated over here, at least culturally. This seemed so strange to me mostly because of my culture. I was brought up in a home where celebrating your birth was one of the biggest days of the year. My parents always made us feel special, right from the waffle breakfast in the morning to the slumber party that night. My mom even made pie or cheesecake because I did not like ordinary cake. I can see now that it was a celebration of me, as a person, someone special and individual and I was important.

I had my own theories of why birthdays are not celebrated here. Money being the main one, and information. So I asked around and it turns out I was not far off. Extended family is very common and important in the Acholi culture, which means lots of people. Most families are peasant farmers, making very little money…subsisting on what they grow, what they can sell or trade. It would be impossible to celebrate everyone in the family’s birth every year. The second reason is that there are a lot of people who don’t know when they were born. There are no official records kept, no birth certificate, social security card, hospital records. Which got me thinking how obsessed we are about age. What age did the baby learn to walk, when was she potty trained, when did she start school, turning 10, 16, 18, 21, 30, 40, 50…100. And of course all the commercial items aimed at each age, walkers, training diapers, “back to school”, driving, insurance, voting, drinking…and then the age reversal products to make us younger and more beautiful. 

I kind of like the idea of just living life every day and not counting down every year only to wonder where the time has gone.

I am turning 50...and a bit... today and some days I forget how old I am. I actually have to do the math. This may be because of my age, or because I really don’t keep track anymore. I know I have people who love me; I have people I love. I am doing something that inspires, frustrates, breaks my heart and makes it sing. 

The one thing that I think gets missed when birthdays are just another day in a person’s life, especially that of a child, is the feeling that just for one day, you are special, you mean something and your life is worth celebrating. So for my birthday this year, I want everyone who has taken the time to read this … far… to celebrate the life of someone close to you. Not because it is their birthday, but because they are special, they mean something, and their life is worth celebrating. And for God’s sake, eat something delicious for me!

Simply Life

Simple. Life is really a simple thing.

Holding a baby,
laughing with the women in the market,
talking to a friend,
walking down a road and noticing the beauty,
watching a storm roll in,
looking at a plate of food so full of color you take a picture,
stopping to greet, putting aside your “work” because someone needs your help, simple.

It becomes less simple when you become outraged that a woman…it could be your mother or sister, your wife or aunt or cousin or grandmother… is being threatened, abused, oppressed, or treated like less of a person only because she is a woman,
wonder how a mother could leave a child…just leave and never look back,
want to see every child have the chance to hold a book and understand what it says,
struggle to understand how anyone can have so little value for life that they take it from another.

What is it the makes us want to be right?
Have power?
Inflict pain?
Impose on others?
Be cruel, thoughtless, selfish, radical, and extreme?
Would it really be so hard to live simply, so others can simply live? To give generously so that other can simply have?

Life is really a simple thing…

But we don’t live it that way.

Wake Up

“Wake up, all the teachers
Time to teach a new way
Maybe then they'll listen
To what'cha have to say

'Cause they're the ones who's coming up
And the world is in their hands
When you teach the children
Teach 'em the very best you can”

If you want children to be empowered to bring peace and stability, you must first educate them.

Education is a word that can mean so many things, but what is universally agreed is that education in some form is a good thing.  One dictionary says that education is: “the knowledge, skill, and understanding that you get from attending a school, college, or university”, another: “The wealth of knowledge acquired by an individual after studying particular subject matters or experiencing life lessons that provides an understanding of something. Education requires instruction of some sort from an individual or composed literature. The most common forms of education result from years of schooling that incorporates studies of a variety of subjects.” I have always loved learning. Not necessarily the process of learning, the rote memorization, the mundane and often repetitive solving of math equations, chemistry…but the ability to answer any questions about anything because I had the books or teachers or later the computer. I was never really good at creative writing and maybe that says something about who I am, but I am really good at research and I think that comes from a curiosity to KNOW.

 I have had the opportunity to see different aspects of the formal educational process- private school, home school, public school- American, British, Ugandan…there are similarities in them and pros and cons, but what needs to be addressed in any educational setting is the uniqueness of each child. While I don’t advocate an un-schooling model, because I believe that children need to be guided, encouraged, empowered, and provided the resources to learn; I have been frustrated by teacher centered learning, parent dictated learning (often not allowing for students to develop their own voice), and a completely centered approach that basically lets the teacher off the hook and requires a child to know what the educational options are that are available to them.

I have been traveling to different school settings since I arrived back in Uganda, trying to learn as much as I can about what is already in place, how it is serving the kids and how it is failing them. I was fortunate enough to watch an amazing group of secondary students debate a topic about education. Their arguments were insightful and intelligent. And at the end I wondered if they had truly listened to what they had just said…had they realized that they had discovered many of the failures of a broken system? Did they see the irony in a system designed to elevate the elite and keep the poor in poverty? A system designed by a Colonial power that failed so miserably that it no longer has colonies? Because the truth of intelligence is that it does not come with money. It comes with curiosity, determination, hard work, and a love of learning. Any child can have this, it is not reserved for those born into wealth, for those attending the “best schools”, for those with loving families, a safe place to sleep and food to eat.

Mother Teresa Primary started with the children of the most vulnerable women, girls really who had been abducted and returned to find they no longer had a place in their community. There are still many students who in our terms have “nothing”…and I mean literally nothing more than the clothes they came in. And yet they are bright, hopeful, curious and so eager to learn. Our mission two years ago was to empower these young people who so desperately want to change their world. Keeping them in school is a start. But finding those who are not in school or are in such rural areas that they lack the opportunity to explore their potential is part of our mission moving forward. We cannot change the broken system, but hopefully we can support those who will. If those wonderful young men and women debaters take what they learned about their failed system and work to change it…work with courageous teachers who care about their students more than their pay check; work with local leaders willing to affect change with action and not just words and promises; and work with each other not to empower “the best” but to encourage all those who follow them…well that will be education in action!